Except my life, except my life, except my life.

the deconstruction

2008-03-09T21:35:00.000-07:00

The following is a conversation between my mother and i. i asked the questions and she answered as follows:

what is fear?

an emotion

what's an emotion?

a feeling

what's a feeling?

something that makes you feel good or bad

what is good?

good is what comes from God

what is God?

our maker

what's a maker?

someone who creates

what's creation?

making something out of nothing

what's something?

an object

what's an object?

a thing

DING! DING! DING!

everything comes to thing. i am a thing. you are a thing. and we're all things. yea.

SUPERPOSITIONING (ec blog)

2008-02-27T20:22:00.001-08:00

wow. that video was wierd. there were a few quotes that stood out to me:

"we've been conditioned to believe that the external world is more real than the internal world" I don't really know what to say about that exactly. I guess the point would be the argument between vision of the brain, and vision of the eyes as mentioned in the movie. They're arguing that maybe the "internal" world, such as thoughts, concepts and beliefs, are more solid, mare stable and more dependable that those that we can see. Like the material world is not dependable.

"makes ya wonder doesn't it...if thoughts can do that to water, imagine what our thougts can do to us."
This was kindof a funny part in the movie because the chick kinda looks at the dude like "huh? why the heck are you talking to me?" (just a bunny trail back to living like people mattered) anyways, this argument agrees with the above idea about thoughts being more tangible than materials. According to this little lecture of water, the words written on the bottle actually changed the form of the water molecule. They showed waster blessed by a Budhist guy and water that had "thank you" written on the bottle etc. It made us believe that our thoughts can actually change the form, the water's actual being and state of existence.

"...imagine what our thoughts can do to us."

The Distance...

2008-02-14T22:50:00.000-08:00

The distance between the actor and their character is an interesting topic. i read Taryn's blog, and thought it profound. i believe what she says is true regarding the characters acceptability to the lines they speak, however, i do believe there can be a difference in character between the actor and their role. The person acting could very well play a completely opposite role in a movie, tv show etc, but that doesn't mean that its who they are. I do however, believe that it depends greatly on their personal beliefs and morals as to what they want to promote to the audience. From a Christian perspective, there should probably be no line dividing an actrors role from who they really are, if it challenges their belief system. We see the problem presented in our media, which is what we discussed in class today. The example that was brought up was Denzel Washingotn and his claims to be a Christian. I for one, do not know how current his beliefs are or wether or not he truly is a Christian, and do not count on finding out because i am not God and therefore do not know his heart. However, he has played roles in movies that include characters who disobey the Bible, for example, swearing. Another controversial topic is what you teach others through your role. is depicting a character who swears and cusses, then transforms into an amazing, caring person wrong just because you swore to exemplify their person prior to change? the answer is a personal opinion. The question of wether or not something can technically disobey the Bible, yet later promote good through the final message can be a toughy. that's why i always come back to the saying that Hollywood is a tough business; probably the toughest. That's why we can't become consumed by it! As a Christian, i woudldn't promote unGodly attitudes unless they are being used to benefit his kingdom. How can you tell? if there's doubt, then don't do it.

Interaction with Darkness...

2008-02-12T22:42:00.000-08:00

before coming down to this dark, desolate room to stare into the eyes of this machine, i read to my mother the poem entitled "Adolensence II". She found it a very interesting piece, and began to explain her thoughts on it. I told her my class' opinion of what it all meant and she thought it all could be relevent. I however, came to conclude that her outlook could very well be the reality of the poem, if you will. She told me about her nights in the hospital. "alone, just me and my mind; it's a scary thing" she said. She believes that the worst things take place when other are sleeping, and you are left compltely alone and helpless, just you and your nightmare. She's had horrors erupt in her mind, and has lived to share them with me. i Shutter at the images she presents, and pray for her mid to release them, for her own mental sake. Images of pure and utter darkness, she explains, as in the poem. This girls interaction could be through the reality of a dream, and nothing more. The significance occurs as she interacts, or rather as the darkness interacts with her. Seals are dark shades of black and brown, with yes, sleek bodies, with is a scary term. Her interaction is limited, all she can do is not respond, to the question asked of her. It just began to make some sense. I noticed that when the seals left, there were holes in her, as if the seal men were a part of her, and sinse their absence, she is left with holes. Also, i noticed that she used the word "again" as she described her lack of respose, as if they'd already been with her. Maybe literal or symbolic, i don't know. Anyways, significance is that she knows them. she was nervous before they got there and had nothing to say, once again. they chuckle at her, or mocker her, as if using the term "history repeats itslef." Darkness surrounds her, and she is left alone, in the bathroom, just her, the holes, and the black of night.

The Breakdown of Words.

2008-02-07T21:30:00.000-08:00

Our system of language could very well be inadequate, especially as we use words to define it. “words, words, words,” quotes Hamlet in the famous play Hamlet by William Shakespeare, and I don’t blame him. “What are you reading?” he was asked, and so he responded with the truth. Words cannot be described, they’re just, words; there is no breakdown. According to Antonio Porchia, “what words say does not last. The words last. Because words are always the same, and what they say is never the same.” Words are ever-changing. I mean something, someone thinks it means something else, another thinks it means something else. Yes, words are inadequate; why do you think there is so much confusion in the world? People are unable to properly express themselves by way of speech. It is greatly flawed, and it is the one thing that can keep us together, or rip us apart.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/language
http://quotegarden.com/language.html

The Victim.

2008-01-29T23:33:00.000-08:00

I believe that i am currently a victim of hyperreality. "i once heard that love is friendship on fire, that's how i feel about you" is a quote spoken by a soon to be boyfriend in the movie The Perfect Man. This quote, as well as the title, explain so well, this idea of what love should be like. Who honestly says this to their girlfriend? This may be personal, but what the heck; i often draw conclusions from movies like this, and imagine that chad o (by bf) talks like this and acts like this towards me, when he is far from it. Another example, is that this boyfriend just happens to be an amazing artist, and draws hill duff a two sided sketch; one of her with several arms saying "stay away", and the other in his arms as he says, "i'll always be here for you." This of course would be cool in real life, if your situation granted the circumstances, however, i have some to realize that my relationship is not like this, and that's ok. As i mentioned in class, i think we fail to find the true beauty that lies within our imperfections; the fact that chad o is not The Perfect Man, should be a blessing, because if he was, i would kill myself after getting so sick of him! This is weird, because i recently have found myself a true victim to this hyperreality, which lead me to hours of conversation in the bathroom with my sister kaitlyn, after we just sat through a 10:30pm chick flick. I was almost complaining to her; why can't he just do this, why can't he just be like that, how come he won't just change this?! it's like i wanna tell myself "shut up you bitch!" (pardon) but seriously, i can't stand myself sometimes, and i blame it completely on the influence of hyperreality (not entirely). So, in conclusion, my sis gave me a very needed bonk on the head, i reality check, that i should accept his imperfections, and those little things that bother me, and focus on the overriding good things about him (which are many), and after a while, the things i thought annoying and "bad" about him, will fade, and they may even change without us realizing it, like a gift for being tolerant. i realize that we're not married, but i don't believe that matters when it comes to simply learning about life. so right now, it matters.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0380623/quotes
http://www.matchflick.com/flicks/15196

[I know i didn't exactly follow the structure of this, but i simply have a lot of commentary. Hope you didn't find it too boring!]

hyperreality

2008-01-27T14:55:00.000-08:00

Hyperreality effects the american view regarding love and realtionships for several reasons. The University of Chicago defines hyperreal as "a condition in which the distinction between the ‘real’ and the imaginary implodes." According to this defenititon, and others who define the hyperreal, there is a very fine line between what we view as real and imaginary. These lines are blurred especially in the technologically advanced postmodern cultures. According to Wickepedia, the free encyclopedia, "the term hyperreality characterizes the inability of consciousness to distinguish reality from fantasy." A great example of hyperreality would be the tendancy for women to draw conclusions about love, from the fantasy endings in movies. Every love story in hollywood, stars the perfect guy who knows just what to say to get the girl, which encourages women (and sometimes men), to expect the same perfection from their partner. This example, and many more, enable us to better understand the defenition, and the danger, when it comes to hyperreality in our culture today.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperreality
http://csmt.uchicago.edu/glossary2004/realityhyperreality.htm

Pomo Jack.

2008-01-16T21:28:00.000-08:00

Oh Jack Sparrow. yes indeed postmodern. some examples are first of all, his amazing compas that no one else really seems to find useful, beucase it is useful to him. it points him perhaps where he desires to go or wherever he thinks best. He lives in very chaotic life yet always brings comic relief into the picture. He is able to use people in whatever way he sees fit, therefore allowing to ends to justify the means, and accomplish his goal sucessfully. wether it be running away, escaping, creeping about or just being wierd, he does it. he's perfectly comfortable being viewed as the dumb pirate, even though he proves himself in nearly every situation, to be a genius.

Why End on a Ship?

2008-01-13T21:11:00.001-08:00

well.... the answer is because the ocean is so amazing. jk. well it is, but i think the reason for the movie to end this way is because of what the ocean means. The ocean is a vast world of blue. it's brought hundrends of thousands of sialors and seamen to their death. a journey on the water can be the beginning of the end of your life. it can swallow you whole, never to return. it can captivate you one minute with its calm beuty, and turn it's back on you the next. its mischievious and moody. i love it. The people on this ship were riding the ocean blue. headed for London, but they didn't know why. They were lost, so it seemed. and were inturupted by the oceans mafia; pirates. they are like allies to prtect and guard the sea, even though risky business is invloved. The sea can be the end, as it was for Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, or it can be the beginning, as it was for Hamlet in his escape. regardless, they were still on the sea. the being that brought their destiny and challenged their awareness. they lost.

ANTS... to be or not to be

2008-01-11T13:35:00.000-08:00

Well i would have to say that i enjoyed this assignment. after watching that wierd animated movie clip of the chick running into that guy, it made me realize how we are so accustomed to living. It triggered a memory of a recent assignment in UTT from our workbooks called, "lining as if poeple mattered." It included many of the thoughts presented inthe clip, and juxtaposing them allowed me to put words with actions.

Furthermore, i decided to drive down to Boarders books last night and see what would happen. Earlier that day, i remember making plans to do this, and prayed a few times, that God would guide whatever words came out of my mouth, and that he would bless the assignment. I will say that from my viewpoint, nothing huge happened, but i can be wrong... nonetheless, i continued on my journey to Borders, and was about to enter the store when i noticed books marked down outside the store. I stopped to look and see what kinds of things were on sale, because the prices were quite amazon-ish. as i was looking a middle aged man began to look at the books too. "Ah-ha!" i thought to myself... my first victum to freak out with my unhuman-like conversational skills. "hi!" i said. "hi" he responded. and so began the short conversation about nothing really, just our different interest in books, his history novels and politics, my'n Christian Psychology, the weather, how he's lived in So. Cal and Colorado, how i have a place in So. Cal and my mom being down there in the hospital.... and then it faded as we continued looking at books. What was funny,was that the whole time we were talking, he had the most interesting look on his face, one that said, "who are you and why are you not conforming to the norms of human behavior which consists mostly of bargain shopping at the local Borders.... omg i must be crazy..." and so his thoughts may have been, i however, couldn't figure out if this may have been his stream of conciousness, or if he thought i was interested in him... lol. sereously.

anyways, it was a good experience indeed. i eneded up talking to four people in all for this assignment including two random girls at school, and two more at the book store. it was awesome. this very well could have changed the way i act and react to words thrown at me or to the words i create out of simple interest and ultimate living- as if people mattered. thank you.

Why play the Question Game?

2008-01-08T13:45:00.001-08:00

I believe the question game was played in this movie becaue Rosencrantz and Guildenstern were questioning their very existence. They contemplated earlier about their first memories, and could only remember being woken up and being told that they were messengers. I believe that at this point they discovered their purpose, but not necessarily their identity. (according to Extistntialism of course) Anyhow, the question game is an excellant example of this belief because they tend to question everything about them. who they are, how they exist and why, how they have no chioce so there must be a purpose etc. It simply proves their confusion in doscovering themselves and their purpose, since they have not yet accomplished it.

Approval or Dissaproval?

2008-01-08T13:38:00.000-08:00

Line 56 i believe is said with simple acceptance. I read a few peopl's blogs, and would agree with Aaron that it is a mere statement. When this line is said, i picture Hamlet and Horatio contemplating the letter and Horatio sitting with a scrunched forehead, elbows on knees, and biting his teeth. He almost says this line under his breath, like he's figuring out some mystery. Like Nicholas Cage does in Nation Treasure when his trying to figure out another clue. He simply sits there are mumbles, "So Guidenstern and Rosencrantz go to't."

Structure related to the argument...

2007-12-10T21:19:00.000-08:00

This poem was cool. i really enjoyed reading it. Some things i didn't quite get, but others i believe i picked up on. So, to answer the question, i believe that the poem is strewn out in various stanzas, as it describes the way one's life does. This is a progression of life for the author and probably relating to anyone really. He goes from late nights and "one-night cheap hotels"- the essence of fiery love and excitement in our society. He then proceeds to describe a dog, and his own physical aging with white hair and trousers etc. He goes on to describe himself walking along the beach with mermaids singing- the depiction of a paradise, an almost blurred scene of a movie or a dream, that foretells our personal view of heaven, with an almost universal generality. The lines are divied in various stanzas that sometimes start a new description or thought, and sometimes don't. This whole poem is a random stream of conciousness of life and it's process. i believe the author may have made the intentional structure, to have no structure at all. This is life. all the words are just describing it's randomness yet with its presence of underlying beauty.

Line 43 of 4.5...

2007-12-05T20:31:00.001-08:00

okay, i think the assignment was to analyze line 43 of 4.5. Hopefully.
"Lord we know what we are, but know not what we may be." (43) Spoken by Ohelia in the midst of her madnes. I guess i'm sorta thrown off key by her madness; i wasn't expecting her to start acting like this. I guess i also don't know really know why... could this be an act too?? hm... anyways, i believe what this line means is that humans are usually concious of who they are or what they are; the fact that they are human beings, however, we are not always prepared for what we might become. allow me to expand. throughout life, i believe everyone changes, the question is, how far? I believe instances like this could cause madness to some, especially when casualties such as these occur more regularly. Also, this could lead one to believe that personalities could somehow morph into animal like characteristics. One would then be able to obtain the madness of an animal or something with qualities unexplainable.
-to be honest, i'm not sure what i'm talking about right now. i do know, however, that this quote seems to foreshadow something that is to come...

Movie vs. Play...

2007-12-03T22:48:00.000-08:00

Honestly, i don't know for sure. I can, however, tell my opinions on both. The play is what we originally started the whole story with, so i automatically assiciate Hamlet with the book that i hold on my hands. However, the movie does pop into my mind as we review parts from the story. The movie does assist greatly in my understanding of some of the lines spoken in the original text. Sometimes i picture things spoken differently than they are, but it helps with my understainding; usually. The director, i think, does a very good job at capturing the tine of the story with most lines. Others, however, i believe are meant to be worded differently, which may then not actually be the directors' fault, but may due to the freedom granted in the art of acting. Nonetheless, i do believe that in order to remember things better, even though out of order, the movie does a pretty good job at displaying that mood and setting of Hamlet. The one that that will always bug me about movie retakes though, is not sticking to the origianal order and form of the intended work. If i were a director, i don't care what would look best in my opinion. My goal is not to make something new with my creative ideas alone, but to base them off of someone else's. The one thing i like about books, however, is the freedom of creataivity that the reader has. Each person is able to visualize and create their own characters and places and things; that's the beauty of imagination.

Do i agree with Ham's purpose of a play?

2007-11-29T20:12:00.000-08:00

Yes and no. I do believe that the reasons given by Ham for which a play shold be performed are quite relevent in many instances. However, i do believe they can reflect something different. Ham believes that a play is to immitate humanity; to show truth; it is art reflecting society and so on. I believe that in most cases, yes, this is true. Plays do in fact reflect an element of reality and life according to many people. However, plays can tend to over exaggerate the portrayed emotions that are actually meant to reveal a truth. I think many times this is intentional because the author wants the audience to "track" with him, if you will. In order for something to be popular, it must be understandable and interesting. This is probably the goal of most writers of play such as this. People are looking for something new and interesting. Hamlet writes this play to grab not only the attention of the people at Elsinore, but most of all, to grab the attention of the king and to essentially persude him to confess to murder; unintentionally. This would reveal the truth to all, if the king confesses that is, and thus accomplishing the goal of the author: hamlet. I guess my only objection would be that because it is acting, it is just that; an act, therefore not actually revealing reality, yet coming very close. Good actors are gifted people because they sway others to buy into their act of portraying reality.

How much of a treat is Ham to King Claud? let's investigate...

2007-11-28T21:02:00.000-08:00

Due to the textually supported evidence regarding the character of the king, i am persuaded to believe that Ham is a huge threat to him and his kingship. We have learned that King Claud shows little interest in political affairs; ie. when his land might be attacked, and he rather shifts his focus towards Ham. This has been discused in class many a time, and i fully support the idea that Cluad is concerned with Ham's behavior. Some specific lines would be 50 of 2.2 when Polon expresses his "eureka" of an idea claiming that he found the reason for Ham's madness. The king, although engaded in previous matters, stops and says, "O, speak of that! that i do long to hear." Then follows Polon saying they should let Volti present his political statement, and only after that will his news be "fruit to [the] great feast." (this, by the way, means that the political issues are equivelant to a feast, being of the most importance, and fruit would be like the topping on a cake, or in this case the fruit; something not necessary, yet delicious.)

Furthermore, as Polon reads Hams letter to Ophelia, the king wants proof that love is indeed the reason for Hams madness as he asks, "but how hath she recieved his love?"

One last analysis, is when the king asks gert what she thinks on the matter. "Do you think 'tis this?" he asks as the quen responds, "it may be, very like." So obviously the queen has not idea what's going on, proving the weekness ascribed to her, and king claud is scared as a dog.

-in conclusion, i believe that Claud believes that Ham is a great threat to his enpowerment, (which is what he seems most concerned with obviously, since he killed the preceding ruler) and wants to find out exactly why Ham is acting like such a freak.-

Does Hamlet Love Ophelia? let's investigate...

2007-11-27T20:38:00.000-08:00

There are several possibilities as to weather or not Hamlet loves this chick.

1) One possibility could be that everything Ham is doing (that would normally be signs of love and affection towards ophealia), could be a setup. This could contribute to Ham's goal in making everyone believe that he's going mad. I think he could definetly use this strategy to either freak out the king, or to mess with Ophelia's heart with certain intentions.

2) Ham uses various "meathods" if you will, to convince everyone that he is in fact in love with Ophealia- that is, if that's his goal. The letters read by Polonius (109...125- of 2.2) of Ham's claimed love for her could be left by Ham for the very goal of discovery. This would definetly convince anyone outside of Ham's wierd mind that he's in love.

3)One indication that Ham could be playing games is found in 2.2 -378- when Ham says to Guildenstern and Rozencrantz, "my uncle-father and aunt-mother are decieved... I am but mad north-northwest. When the wind is southerly i know a hawk from a handsaw." Just as he finishes this line, Polonius enters and Ham returns to his character of "the pursuer of Ophelia." As Ham says these aformentioned lines, i believe what he is saying is that he is emotionally stable, hence the north north-west, however, when he transforms into his other character (possibly) his emotions go south, hence his not telling a hawk from a handsaw. This is simply a possibility for the explanation of Ham's emotions and true feelings.

-In conclusion, i believe that Ham reveals himself through various personalities, in order to confuse Polonious, King Claud, Queen Gert, Ophelia (being the daughter of Polonius) and others not necessarliy close to Him, to keep secret his plan in attacking the king through theatre. I could be totally wrong, however, based on observation, this would be an appropriate explanation for Ham's behavior.-